Post by schlager7 on Jul 22, 2011 7:21:03 GMT -6
For those who did not see the link on Fnet, enjoy.
Ballad of the Crazy Fencing Parent
Summer Nationals 2011: The ballad of the crazy fencing parent
Tuesday, July 5, 2011 - To The Point by Arjuna Subramanian
RENO, July 4, 2011 —Two fencers face each other on the piste, both at least a three or four inches under five feet. One is 10 or 11, the other merely 9 or 10.
The stage is set not for the fencer, but for the "crazy fencing parent."
But first the details.
The two nervous young fencers stand outfitted in some of the most expensive fencing gear on the market. They both wear colored masks, the one on the left sporting a light orange helmet, and the one on the right boasting a bright, sunshine yellow version.
Who in the world buys their 9-year-old a $250 plus mask? Or an international-class jacket and knickers? For Pete’s sake, these kids won’t even have the slightest opportunity to fence internationally for five years.
Maybe if they don’t grow at all it’ll turn out to be a fantastic investment. Call me silly, though, but I simply cannot picture a 4’ 8” international epee fencer.
The bout commences. Both fencers show good point control and technique for their ages, but the true highlight is of course the insanely-competitive parent.
“Stay calm, honey!”
“Keep moving”
“In and out”
“Move!”
“Be cool, be cool”
The crazy fencing mother runs though the handbook of fencing clichés. She drowns out her precious child’s coach with her high-pitched screams of “advice”. She’s taking a home video of her son’s bout, not a rare occurrence at large fencing competition, especially the National Championships.
Only this particular one is punctuated with shrieks of expletives every time her son’s opponent scores a touch.
The poor innocent 9-year-old loses the first bout, 5-3, setting off an absolutely delightful string or curses from the mother right into her video camera. During the break in between bouts, he tries to listen to the advice from his coach, but the crazy fencing parent strikes again.
“Stay cool honey! You can do this!”
“Be cool, be cool, cool!”
The second bout kicks off. The takeaway phrase this time is:
“In and out, in and out, keep moving! S**t!”
In desperation, the coach tries to yell out some advice, but even those of us standing right next to the coach and mother can’t hear a word he’s saying.
The second bout ends the exact same way as the first, the orange-clad fencer prevailing over the one in yellow, who bursts into tears as his mother polishes off her precious video with yet another curse.
As our scene closes, one fencer stands nonchalantly, one is in tears, a mother is upset, trying to console her child, and turn off her video camera at the same time, and the coaches are left to clean up the entire act. The crazy fencing parent leaves destruction in its wake.
At least they still have that $250 mask.
Ballad of the Crazy Fencing Parent
Summer Nationals 2011: The ballad of the crazy fencing parent
Tuesday, July 5, 2011 - To The Point by Arjuna Subramanian
RENO, July 4, 2011 —Two fencers face each other on the piste, both at least a three or four inches under five feet. One is 10 or 11, the other merely 9 or 10.
The stage is set not for the fencer, but for the "crazy fencing parent."
But first the details.
The two nervous young fencers stand outfitted in some of the most expensive fencing gear on the market. They both wear colored masks, the one on the left sporting a light orange helmet, and the one on the right boasting a bright, sunshine yellow version.
Who in the world buys their 9-year-old a $250 plus mask? Or an international-class jacket and knickers? For Pete’s sake, these kids won’t even have the slightest opportunity to fence internationally for five years.
Maybe if they don’t grow at all it’ll turn out to be a fantastic investment. Call me silly, though, but I simply cannot picture a 4’ 8” international epee fencer.
The bout commences. Both fencers show good point control and technique for their ages, but the true highlight is of course the insanely-competitive parent.
“Stay calm, honey!”
“Keep moving”
“In and out”
“Move!”
“Be cool, be cool”
The crazy fencing mother runs though the handbook of fencing clichés. She drowns out her precious child’s coach with her high-pitched screams of “advice”. She’s taking a home video of her son’s bout, not a rare occurrence at large fencing competition, especially the National Championships.
Only this particular one is punctuated with shrieks of expletives every time her son’s opponent scores a touch.
The poor innocent 9-year-old loses the first bout, 5-3, setting off an absolutely delightful string or curses from the mother right into her video camera. During the break in between bouts, he tries to listen to the advice from his coach, but the crazy fencing parent strikes again.
“Stay cool honey! You can do this!”
“Be cool, be cool, cool!”
The second bout kicks off. The takeaway phrase this time is:
“In and out, in and out, keep moving! S**t!”
In desperation, the coach tries to yell out some advice, but even those of us standing right next to the coach and mother can’t hear a word he’s saying.
The second bout ends the exact same way as the first, the orange-clad fencer prevailing over the one in yellow, who bursts into tears as his mother polishes off her precious video with yet another curse.
As our scene closes, one fencer stands nonchalantly, one is in tears, a mother is upset, trying to console her child, and turn off her video camera at the same time, and the coaches are left to clean up the entire act. The crazy fencing parent leaves destruction in its wake.
At least they still have that $250 mask.